


So Close

by SadieandJack



Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:47:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27590893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SadieandJack/pseuds/SadieandJack
Summary: Grissom moves away for good teaching. He leaves behind Sara and she struggles to cope with his absence.
Relationships: Gil Grissom/Sara Sidle





	1. So Close

I sneezed and coughed while waiting for my results in the lab. The woman at the desk typing kept looking at me as I rubbed my head then looked at the results paper coming out of the printer. I took it reading the results then I walked out to Grissom's office. He just hung up the phone as I walked in handing him the results.

I sat down to weak to stand. He read them carefully then looked at me.

"Looks good, you don't however."

"I'm fine." I said, taking the paper out of his hands. I went to the door stopping to look back at him. He was walking towards me with a look of concern. He touched my head and cheeks.

"Honey, you're sick."

I coughed again sniffing.

"I had to finish the case."

"I want you to go home."

"Gris, I am okay."

He sighed looking at me. I put my hand on my head closing my eyes.

"Sara, at least lay down on my couch."

"I have to go and put this into to the computer."

I walked out as he shook his head watching me go. I typed my report up in the computer lab feeling so tired and drained. I laid my head down on my arm letting the exhaustion hit me. Brass walked down the hallway to see Grissom. He waved at Warrick in the breakroom then he walked past the computer lab stopping when he saw me. He walked in touching my arm.

"Sara?"

When I didn't move he moved my hair back touching my neck. The heat coming off me was enough to alarm him. He got his phone out sitting down to the right of me moving my hair back from my face as he waited.

"Grissom."

"It's Jim, I got Sara here past out in the computer lab."

"I'll be right there."

Brass put his phone down then he touched my back rubbing it.

"Honey, wake up."

I breathed in and out slowly as he waited. Grissom appeared looking at his friend then at me.

"I found her like this." Brass said, standing.

Grissom walked over gently lifting me up so I sat up. I let my head roll back against his arm.

"Sara?"

I opened my eyes seeing him.

"Griss…om?"

"Yes, it's me." He said, touching my head.

"I….I'm sorry."

"For what?" He asked

"I….didn't mean to….leave you."

Grissom looked at Brass then back at me.

"You didn't leave me."

"We need to cool her down." Brass said

"Shower." Grissom said

I was lifted up and carried to the locker room. Grissom gently set me in the shower stall turning on the water. I shivered more as the water turned cold. It stopped and I was lifted up again. A big towel was put over me and I sat on the bench. Grissom dried my face touching it as I looked around in a haze.

"She feels cooler." Grissom said "I am taking her home."

Brass nodded helping me up taking me down the hallway to the cars outside. Brass put me inside the passenger seat putting a seat belt around me then he kissed my head.

"Get better."

I felt the door close and I laid my head against it feeling Grissom's eyes on me.

I woke later in bed dressed in my pajamas. I moved to my side still feeling like crap. I closed my eyes starting to drift again.

Grissom came back home later walking into the bedroom seeing me just as he left me in bed sleeping. He turned on the lamp on his side then sat on the bed touching my cheek. He sighed as he felt how much cooler I was.

He got up changing going to the bathroom. I moved as the door shut. Grissom came out freezing when he saw me pointing my gun straight at him as I stood outside the bathroom.

"Sara, what are you doing?"

"Who are you?!"

"It's Grissom." He said "Put the gun down."

"No!" I said "Who are you?!"

"I told you its Grissom."

"I am going to count to three!" I said "One!"

"Sara, its Grissom, your husband!"

"Two!"

"Honey, do you trust me?"

I blinked looking at him. He slowly walked over holding his hand over to grab the gun.

"Grissom?" I said

"Yes, it's Grissom." He said, gently.

I let him take the gun then he put his arm around me pulling me to him.

"It's okay."

I clutched his tee shirt shaking. He put me back on the bed laying down beside me. I grabbed at him as he held me.

He woke later feeling me move around. I moaned a little lying still. He looked at the wrist watch then he laid back down on his side closing his eyes. I moved again lying still on my back.

Grissom opened his eyes looking at me. He moved over closer kissing my head.

"How are you feeling?" He asked

I opened my eyes looking at him. He touched my cheek.

"I feel really drained." I said

"You need to rest."

"Case." I said, opening and closing my eyes.

"No, you're to stay home and rest." He said

"You can't tell me what to do."

"Sara." He said, in his boss tone.

I smiled a little closing my eyes. He got up leaving me to sleep. By the time he came back from work I was up watching TV in a pair of his pajamas. He came in seeing me then he walked over plopping down beside me. I moved over kissing him then I moved to his neck. He laid his head back.

"I take it you're feeling better?"

"Mmhmm."

"Good, there is something we need to talk about."

"What?" I asked, muffled in his neck.

"A friend in Washington D.C. called asking if I would teach at the college there full time."

I moved back looking at him.

"Is this like that sabbatical thing you went on?"

"Sort of, except I would not be coming back."

I sat back with my mouth open staring at him.

"Sara, he just called today. I was considering it, but I wanted to discuss it with you."

I continued to stare at him.

"Say something."

I got up pacing.

"This is great! I get you back and we get married then you are leaving again!"

"Honey, I didn't say yes yet." He said, standing coming to me. "Look, this is an opportunity that needs a few days to decide."

I yanked my arms from his hands.

"Go!"

He watched me go past him grabbing my keys from the hook by the front door.

"Sara!"

"Just go and leave!" I shouted, running out the front door. Grissom looked at the door stunned.

I drove around angry. My phone went off, but I ignored it. I went to Brass's home knocking seeing him open the door still dressed for work.

"Hey, I just got home." He said, letting me inside. "What's going on?"

I shook my head looking down. He looked at me in concern as he shut the door.

"Are you still feeling sick?"

I walked over hugging him. He hugged me feeling me shaking.

"Honey, what is going on?"

I moved back looking at him.

"Can I sleep here?"

"Tell me what happened." He said

"Grissom, wants to go to Washington and teach full time. I left mad."

"He didn't tell me that."

"Dad, I feel like my heart is breaking."

He pulled me against him again as I let my walls down crying. I went to sleep shortly after as Brass rubbed his head looking at his phone just outside his bedroom. He dialed and put the phone to his ear.

"Grissom."

"Gil, I just want you to know I got Sara here."

"I knew she would come to your place."

"She told me what the problem was."

"It's not a problem because I am not going."

"You need to do this. She will be fine here."

Grissom sighed as Brass looked at his door.

"Gil, she knows deep down that you want to do this. She won't stand in your way."

"I know."

Brass said goodbye to him then he went to his room. I woke early going back home. Grissom was still sleeping as I entered the bedroom. I stood by the bed watching him sleep knowing I had to let him do this. Slowly, I climbed over him as he awoke looking up at him.

"Hey." I said

"Hey."

"I want you to go." I said

"No, it was a silly idea."

"No, you need to go. We made this work before. We can again."

"Sara, if this is a problem….I."

I covered his mouth with my hand.

"It's not a problem." I said, replacing my hand with my lips. He kissed me back putting his hands on my waist rolling us over.

Grissom put in his resignation and it was a big blow to the team as well as me. I came into his office a few weeks later seeing boxes all over the place. I sat in a chair looking around as he came in seeing me.

"Tomorrow is the last day." He said

"I see that." I said

He smiled sitting in a chair near me.

"So we need to do your last evaluation."

"Okay."

He nodded getting a paper from his desk then he sat down holding a pen looking at me.

"This year you have improved in everything and I put down that you are a valuable employee that has improved greatly over every aspect of the job." He said, looking at me.

I looked at him with large sad eyes feeling tears starting to form.

"You just need to sign the paper." He said

I quickly signed the paper then I looked down as he put the paper and pen down in his desk then he sat down again.

"Is there anything you want to talk about?"

"I have something to do." I said, getting up.

His hand touched my arm making me stop. I felt a tear go down my cheek. He looked up at me pulling me to sit on him. I looked at him touching his cheek with my hand.

"What can I do?" He asked

I shook my head sniffing.

"Nothing."

He sighed pulling me against him. I touched his coat as he kissed my head smoothing my hair back. He said goodbye to everyone as the close of shift came.

The next morning he carried his bags to the front door as I followed. He turned giving me a small smile.

"You can come with me." He said

"No."

"I'll miss you."

I tried to smile as I walked over hugging him.

"Sara, I love you."

"I love you to." I said

He moved back kissing me. I savored it kissing him till we both needed air. He searched my eyes then let me go to grab his bags leaving. I closed the door behind him closing my eyes as I laid my head on the door.

A few days later I walked up to a house seeing Brass standing at the door.

"The body is in the living room." He said

I nodded going in feeling his hand rub my back. I went in numb doing to job without a word. When I came back out I walked to the Tahoe putting evidence bags and my case away. I closed the door then got into the driver's seat looking ahead. I put my head against the steering wheel for a few minutes. I came back to the lab bringing in the bags I had seeing Catherine walk over with a man.

"Sara Grissom, this is D.B. Russell." She said "He's taking over Grissom's position."

He held out his hand to shake mine. I put down my case and took his.

"Nice to meet you." He said

I gave him a small smile.

"Catherine told me some good things about you."

"I have to take these to evidence. It was nice to meet you to." I said

He nodded as they both watched me go.

"She doesn't look well." D.B. said

"She misses Gil." Catherine said

He nodded watching me walk down the hallway then he followed Catherine. I worked on for hours not wanting to go home. It was time to leave and still I worked in the lab. D.B. walked over knocking as I looked up.

"What are you doing?" He asked

"Just looking at this shirt." I said, as I stretched out the sleeve on the table.

"Are you going home?"

"I have too much to do." I said

He just stood there watching me.

"Catherine told you like science journals."

I looked at him.

"Yes, I do."

"Did you read the one about microscopic organisms?"

"Yes, I thought it was interesting." I said

"I have the latest one I can loan it to you."

"Great."

I went back to the shirt as he continued to stand there.

"Um…Sara, if you ever…want to talk."

"I'm fine." I said, looking at him.

"I understand, but like I said if you ever want to talk I am here."

"Thank you." I said, looking closely at the fabric.

"Why don't you clean up and go home?"

I shook my head. He walked in closer touching my arm. I looked at him.

"Sara, go home."

I blinked slowly nodding. He nodded walking out leaving me. I sat on the stool behind me looking at the shirt feeling my heart break again and again.

I tried to get Grissom on the phone, but he never answered. I laid in bed touching his side as I looked at it. I kept to myself at the lab working on my own. At break time Brass walked around seeing me sitting in the breakroom looking at the coffee table with my uneaten sandwich on it. He walked over taking as seat beside me. I didn't acknowledge him as he placed his hand on mine.

"How are you doing?"

I looked at him with empty eyes.

"Fine."

He rubbed my hand.

"Catherine is worried about you."

I nodded.

"Have you slept, or eaten?"

"No, not much."

"Honey, you need to take care of yourself."

"I am trying."

He watched me look back at the coffee table. D.B. came in stopping as he saw us. Brass looked over as the younger man motioned out in the hall.

"I'll be right back." He said, leaving.

D.B. watched Brass walk out glancing in at me.

"Catherine told me you are Sara's dad."

"Yes, I am worried about her." Brass said

"We all are. Is there any way to get hold of Grissom?"

"She's tried. He's either out of range or very busy."

"I don't think she can last."

"Me neither."

"Can you try to get him on the phone?"

"Yes." Brass said, getting his phone out.

D.B. looked in on me then he looked at Brass. Brass dialed waiting.

"Grissom."

"Gil, where have you been?"

"I have been teaching. Why?"

"Sara, has been trying to call you."

"Is she all right?"

"No, she is not all right. She has given up."

"Where is she?"

"Hold on." He said, walking to me in the breakroom. "Sara, I have someone for you to talk to."

I looked at him as he held out his phone. I slowly took it putting it to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Sara, are you all right?" Grissom asked

I looked at Brass and D.B. standing at the door.

"I'm fine."

"I am sorry about all this. I have been teaching nonstop."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not." He said "I miss you."

"I know." I said, looking down.

"You have to take care of yourself."

"I will."

"Can you hand the phone to Jim?"

I held the phone out to Brass then I grabbed my food getting up throwing it away leaving the room. Brass sighed watching me go as Grissom talked to him.

After work I walked slowly outside to my car. Brass walked out coming over to me.

"Hey." He said

I looked at him then I moved in for a hug.

"Grissom made me promise to look after you."

I lifted my head looking at him.

"Let's stop at that diner we both like."

"No, I am not really in the mood."

"Please?"

I slowly nodded feeling him lead me to his car. We stopped at the diner a few minutes later and sat down in a booth. I sat beside him not even looking at the menu as he did.

"Why don't we have the special?" He asked "Grilled cheese with tomato soup."

I looked at him shrugging my shoulders. He ordered our food then he put his arm around my shoulders looking at me.

"So how's the case?" He asked

"Okay." I said

He looked at my profile.

"You look a lot like your mother." He said

I looked at him.

"You got my ears."

He touched my ear as I smiled a little.

"I wish I had known that you were my dad years ago."

"Me to, but we are doing great now."

"Yeah."

He kissed my head smiling at me. Our food came and I just looked at it.

"Come on eat for me." He said, lifting up half of the sandwich to my mouth. "Come on."

I slowly opened my mouth taking a small bite.

"You can take a bigger one than that."

I sighed eating another bite. This time bigger.

"Good girl!"

I chewed swallowing as he ate his. I ate a little more than we left to go home. Brass looked over at me sleeping with my head against the window. He touched my hand as he drove.

I moved in bed feeling warm. I could hear someone moving in the next room. I rolled over to my back laying my head to the side hearing someone come into the bedroom.

The smell of coffee hit me hard. A hand came to mine.

"Sara?" Brass called, gently.

I slowly opened my eyes seeing him. I looked around seeing I was not at my home, but his.

"I brought you some coffee." He said, holding a steaming cup.

"How long have I been asleep?" I asked

"Three days."

"What?!" I said, trying to get up.

He put the cup on the side table pushing me down.

"Calm down. You needed to sleep. I called the lab and they agreed you needed sleep."

I put a hand to my head.

"Sara, it's okay."

"My case!"

"D.B. gave it to Nick."

I sighed closing my eyes.

"You better drink this." He said

I sat up with his help taking the cup drinking.

"Grissom called asking about you."

"I should call him."

"I told him you were resting."

"I keep messing up."

"Honey, you didn't mess anything up."

I sniffed putting the cup on the table as I leaned back against the pillows swiping the fresh tears going to down my cheeks.

"I wish he was here." I said

"Me to." He said, rubbing my arm.

"I miss him." I said, sitting up hugging him.

"I know." He said "I know."

Brass drove me back to my place and I tried calling Grissom.

"Grissom."

"Hey, it's me." I said, leaning on the kitchen counter.

"Sara, you okay?"

"Yes."

He sighed relieved.

"I have a class soon. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine."

"I want you to call me every day."

"I will."

He didn't speak for a moment.

"Promise me."

"I promise."

I hung up looking at the phone then I put it down on the counter moving out of the kitchen. D.B. and I worked a case together a week later. He glanced at me before looking ahead in the Tahoe.

"So how's Grissom?"

I jumped looking over at him.

"Fine."

"Good, and you?"

"I don't want to talk about this." I said, looking out the side window.

"Why not?"

I looked at him then back at the window. He looked at my profile then back at the road. We made it to the scene. A car was smashed against the hillside as another laid on its side. We walked over seeing blood metal debris.

"This is bad." I said

"Yeah, I have a daughter that age." He said, motioning to the girl lying near the car by the hillside. "Sara, you take the car on its side and I will work here."

"Are you sure?"

He nodded looking back at the dead girl. I walked over to the car seeing a guy inside dead. I knelt down looking inside at him beyond the broken windshield. I walked around the car looking at the tires.

D.B. walked around the other car looking inside. I walked over to the back seeing blood pooling out of the trunk.

"I got something in the trunk!" I shouted

A cop came over seeing the blood.

"Let's get it open!"D.B. shouted

I stood back as the cop got a crow bar and attempted to open it. It burst open and we coughed holding our hand over our mouth and nose. Inside was a woman tied up bleeding from the head and chest. She had been laying against bags of decomposing animals.

"I….have to!" I said, gagging. I ran away from the scene throwing up beside a guard rail. I put my hand against it trying to get control over my body. D.B. walked over touching my back. I heaved again still smelling it.

"You okay?"

I nodded trying to be brave. He rubbed my back gently. I stood up taking in the air wiping my mouth with a hand. He looked at me concerned as I stepped back looking over at the car.

"Do you want to sit down a moment?"

"No….I'm okay." I said, shaking.

He searched my eyes then walked with me back to the scene. I breathed through my mouth working. We arrived back hours later tired and still smelling the horrible decomposing animals. He and I walked into the building taking evidence down the hallway then I took a shower using lemon. I came out feeling better.

The boys asked me to go out to the strip with them and I said yes. We all walked down to the bars trying drinks at every one of them. I laughed holding onto Warrick as we left the last bar. He smiled at me as we walked down the street to the cars. Nick and Greg followed stumbling some talking. Warrick got his keys out since he was the designated driver. I leaned against the car hearing my phone go off.

"Oh it's….my husband!" I said, showing them my phone. I put it to my mouth. "Hello!"

Nick and Greg laughed as Warrick grabbed my phone pushing me inside the back seat.

"Hey man." Warrick said, holding my phone to his ear. "Sara, is fine. We all went out for drinks."

He walked around the car to the driver's side as Nick and Greg got in.

"I am taking her home."

"Tell him I hate him!" I shouted

"No, I am not drunk." Warrick said

I reached up trying to take my phone from him.

"Yeah." Warrick said, waving me off. "I can do that."

"Give me the phone." I said, trying to take it again. Warrick gave up handing me the phone.

"Grissom?" I said

"Sara, are you going home?" He asked

"Grissom, I hate you!" I shouted, laughing right after.

"You don't hate me."

"Yes, I do. You left me you jerk!" I said "I loved you, but you left me."

Warrick grabbed the phone from me.

"Sorry man, she's drunk." He said

Warrick listened for a moment then he hung up handing me the phone. I sat back looking outside sighing sadly.

I woke up before work feeling very bad. I got my phone ringing Grissom.

"Hey." I said

"You are alive." He said

"I'm sorry about that."

He sighed as I tried to sit up.

"Sara, your words last night made me think."

"About what?"

"I think….we should separate."

I touched my chest as he said this.

"What? No!"

"Sara, I am in Washington and you are in Las Vegas. You need to find someone more suited to you."

"Grissom, please! I didn't mean that!"

"I have to go." He said

"Please just….." I said

The phone went dead. I looked at it in shock. I sank down on the floor sobbing. Brass was in his office when his phone went off.

"Brass." He said, looking at a report. He looked up listening. "Sara?"

He stood as I sobbed over the phone.

"Okay calm down tell me what is wrong."

"I….Grissom….w…wants…t…to….separate!"

Brass rubbed his head walking around his desk.

"Where are you?"

"Home."

"Okay, I'll tell D.B. you won't be in. I will be right over." He said, before hanging up.

D.B. was just arriving as Brass came out seeing him.

"Sara, won't be in."

"Why?"

"It's a long story. I will tell you later. I have to go to her now." He said, walking out quickly.

"Is she all right?"

Brass looked at him shaking his head. He raced to my house running up the stairs to my door letting himself in.

"Sara?"

He walked in carefully looking around the rooms.

"Sara?"

He opened the door to the bedroom finding me lying on the floor with my gun next to my hand.

"Sara, no!" He shouted, kneeling down seeing blood at my temple. "Come on baby!"

He called for an ambulance almost to the point of tears.

"Stay with me!" He said, touching my neck.

Brass waited hours later in the waiting room pacing as D.B. showed up.

"Anything?" He asked

"No." Brass said

The younger man touched Brass's shoulder.

"Did you phone Gil?" D.B. asked

"Not yet."

A doctor came out looking around then he walked over seeing Brass.

"Did you come in with Sara Grissom?"

"Yes, I am her father and this is D.B. Russell her boss." Brass said

"We got the bullet out and she is alive."

Brass almost fell to the ground relieved.

"She holding her own right now, but that might change. At this point we don't know what kind of damage we are looking at. She could have memory loss, or worse."

Brass nodded looking at D.B. who was ashen white.

"Can I see her?"

"Not for a while. Come back later." The doctor said, walking away.

"I have to call Gil." Brass said

"Yeah."

Brass walked out with him to the parking lot dialing Grissom's number. D.B. watched him fidget as he waited.

"Grissom, its Jim." He said "I have some bad news."

"What's happened?" Grissom asked, as he walked to his kitchen in his apartment.

"Sara…shot herself."

Grissom stopped walking thinking he did not hear right.

"What….did you say?"

"I said Sara shot herself…in the head."

Grissom grabbed the counter holding himself up.

"When?"

"Yesterday afternoon. I am at the hospital now. They got the bullet out, but she might have problems."

"Oh no." Grissom said

"Can you come?"

"Yes, I will come."

"Good."

He hung up looking at D.B.

Later the doctor led Brass into the room I was lying in. A bandage was around my head and a ventilator was covering my mouth and nose.

Brass walked over looking at me then he reached down touching my hand.

"Sara, fight for me." He said

"I'll leave you alone." The doctor said

"Her husband is coming soon. Gil Grissom."

"I'll tell the front desk."

Brass watched him leave then he looked down at me.

"Come on honey." He said

He sat beside my bed watching me. The door opened and Grissom came in dropping his black bag at the door. Brass watched him walk over looking worried.

"How is she?" He asked

"The same."

Grissom came to the other side looking me over.

"Gil, I don't know what is happening. I do know that you two love each other and belong together. Whatever issues you have need to worked out."

Grissom looked at his friend.

"It's my fault this is happening." He said

"I know."

Grissom looked at me leaning over kissing my bandaged head.

"Her heart has been breaking every day since you left."

"Mine to."

"Come back to the lab."

"It's not that simple." Grissom said

"We need you there."

"I accepted a commitment."

"You did when you married Sara before this."

Grissom walked over to with window's looking out.

"I needed to get away from the lab. I needed to get away from everything here."

"You have always been by yourself."

"Sara understands me."

"She has stood by you a long time and she always will." Brass said "Now it's time to give back to her. Come back to the lab."

Grissom looked down then he looked at Brass.

A week later I moved my fingers feeling someone grip it back. My eyes slowly opened and I was seeing a light above. Grissom leaned over me speaking, but I could not answer back. He pushed the call button having the doctor and nurse come in. They took out the tube down my throat making me choke then the doctor started to examine me.

"Sara, can you speak?" He asked, checking my eyes.

I looked at him then at the man on my other side looking at me.

"Do you know the man standing next to you?"

I looked back at the doctor not saying a word.

"Why isn't she speaking?" Grissom asked

"The damage of the bullet may have affected the part that makes her talk and think. We need to do an MRI on her."

"Okay." Grissom said

I was taken to a room and slid into a tube. Grissom waited for the results back in my room. He looked out the windows thinking about all the harm he did. I was wheeled back into the room.

"The doctor will be in soon." The nurse said

"Thank you." He said

I looked at him curiously as he walked over. He leaned over kissing my head.

"Sara, I love you. I am not going to leave you now."

I watched him talk feeling his hand on my cheek. I closed my eyes as he smoothed his fingers across my cheek. I opened them as the doctor walked in. Grissom stood up looking at the man.

"Well, I am afraid there is damage."

"Is it permanent?"

"There is a chance that it could be temporary. She could learn to speak again, but it will take some time."

Grissom nodded looking at me. I looked at him noting his worried look. Brass opened the door holding some pink flowers in a pot.

"Hey, I came to see the patient." He said, walking in smiling as I looked at him. He set the flowers down on a table by the wall then he came and stood by Grissom. "Hello honey."

I looked at him then at Grissom. The doctor left after explaining to Brass what was happening.

"I wanted to see her before work." He said, rubbing my fingers.

Grissom looked at his watch.

"I should go and get something to eat."

"Rest to."

Grissom nodded looking at me.

"Sara, I will be back."

I looked at him then at Brass.

"Go on. She will be fine."

Grissom walked out glancing back at me before leaving. Brass kissed my cheek rubbing my hand.

"It's okay."

I squeezed his hand making him smile.

A month later Grissom walked with me up the stairs to our home. He opened the door holding my arm helping me inside. He let me sit down on the couch then he sat down touching my hand in my lap.

"Home sweet home." He said

I looked around the living room then at him as he moved over kissing me. He moved back putting his head against mine.

"Sara, I am so sorry."

I moved back looking at him then I hugged him. He hugged me back pulling my body closer. He came home for good. He walked with me into the lab a week later. D.B. and the gang all hugged me welcoming me back. I walked with Nick and Greg to the breakroom where a cake had been set out.

"So she still isn't talking?" D.B. asked

"No, the therapist said she is making progress, but she just refused to talk once she came home." Grissom said

"I can put her on light lab duty." D.B. said

"That would be a good idea."

"I heard you're taking Ecklie's job?" He said

"Yes, it was time." Grissom said

"Well I am glad you back."

"Thank you."

Greg and Nick sat on the couch in the breakroom with me eating cake. Catherine sat in the chair near the couch laughing at something Greg said. I listened to them eating slowly.

"It's good to have you back." Nick said

I smiled faintly at him. Grissom came in seeing us. He got some cake standing nearby as he ate. I stood getting help from Nick going to the garbage can throwing my plate away. I glanced out in the hallway seeing a poster hanging up. I walked over to it.

Brass snuck up to me tapping my shoulder making me jump. I turned seeing him. He hugged me looking over seeing the team inside eating still.

"Good to see you here." He said

He moved away looking me up and down.

"So how are you?"

I didn't answer as he touched my cheek with his thumb.

"You can talk to me."

I shook my head as he nodded.

"Okay, but I expect an answer soon."

He walked with me back into the room waving at everyone. I went home with Grissom and he pulled me over kissing me. I kissed him then I put my head against his shoulder.

"Feel like speaking?"

I didn't answer.

"You can, your therapist said you can."

I touched his coat. He sighed moving me back from him.

"Take out?"

I nodded and he got out his phone. I walked to the couch laying down closing my eyes. Grissom walked over sitting on the couch rubbing my arm leaning over kissing my head. I opened my eyes looking at the coffee table.

He moved my hair back wishing I would just talk. I swallowed not moving feeling him get up walking to the bedroom. When he didn't come out I got up walking to the bedroom seeing him sitting on the bed holding his head with his hands. I came back out looking down. Grissom lifted his head wiping his cheeks as he took a breath getting up.

I was in the back yard walking around in small circles. Grissom came out seeing me.

"Sara, what are you doing out here?" He asked, coming down the back porch to join me. "What's wrong?"

I sniffed wiping my eyes as I looked down.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked, pulling me to him. His hand went to my cheek. "Sara, talk to me."

I shook my head sniffing.

"Are you crying about work?" He asked

I shook my head.

"Are you crying because of me?"

I nodded.

"Honey, don't cry. There is nothing wrong. I just need to blow off some steam."

I looked at him feeling his fingers brush away my tears.

"We will get through this."

I looked at his lips then at his eyes. He kissed me slowly then led me into the house.

I worked in the lab the next shift helping Greg on his case. Grissom went to meetings and moved into his office. D.B. had me sit down in his office at the end of shift. He fiddled with a pen at his desk looking at me.

"So are you getting used to work again?"

I nodded.

"Work load is not to much, is it?"

I shook my head.

He nodded sighing as he watched me.

"Sara, the reason I really wanted to see you is I am concerned about this no talking. We all care for you. I know you have had a rough time, but not talking is concerning us more."

I looked at him then down.

"Won't you try to talk?"

He watched me lift my head looking at him. I opened my mouth to speak causing him to sit up more.

"I…I'm fine." I said, quietly.

"Glad to hear it." He said, smiling.

I smiled back.

On the ride home Grissom took my hand looking at me. I looked at him as he looked ahead driving.

"Russell told me that you said something to him." He said, glancing at me.

I nodded.

"Will you talk for me?"

I looked at him.

"Please?"

Shaking my head I looked back outside. He parked the car stopping the engine sitting back in his seat.

"G…Grissom?" I said

He looked at me with a look of surprise. I leaned over kissing him. He kissed me back savoring every sensation. I moved over straddling his legs. He didn't say anything as I continued to kiss him. He moved back looking at me.

"You're so beautiful, Sara."

I looked at him touching his cheek then I moved in again kissing him. He pulled me closer not caring who was looking.

Grissom woke hearing birds outside. He lifted his head looking around realizing we were still in the car in the backseat. He laid his head back rubbing his head. I laid on my side sleeping. He touched my hip moving then stilling.

"Time to get up." He said

When I didn't move or wake he moved my hair kissing my neck. After a moment I moved onto my back opening my eyes seeing his looking at me.

"W….where are we?" I asked

"The car." He said, smiling a little. "Ready to make a move?"

"N…no."

He leaned down kissing me then watched me sit up holding my head.

"You okay?"

"Y…yes."

He sat up watching me wake up. We got out of the car going up to our house. He made us lunch before work. I slowly ate the egg salad sandwich he gave me at the island. Grissom wiped his mouth finished as I still ate.

"Sara, why didn't you talk sooner?"

I looked at him swallowing.

"B…because I didn't like the way I s…sounded."

"You know it didn't matter to me."

"I…I know."

He touched my cheek with his finger then he got up putting his plate in the sink. He went to finish getting ready as I laid the rest of my sandwich down on the plate looking at it sadly.

Grissom walked in the building motioning to me he was going to his office. I watched him go jumping as D.B. touched my arm.

"Sorry, I just came to ask if you could help me with something."

I nodded following him. He brought me a room down the hallway.

"Can you stand at the wall?" He asked

I walked over to the center of the back wall standing still.

"I am turning on a light. It will be bright so don't look directly at it."

He turned it on and I winched holding my hand over my eyes. D.B. walked in front of the light blocking it a little. I moved my hand looking at him walking over to stand in front of me.

"Hold this." He said, holding up a round mirror. I looked at him then I took it looking at myself.

"What do you see?" He asked

"M…myself."

"Do you see a monster?" He asked

I gave him a confused look.

"W...what are you talking about?"

"Sara, you may see yourself, but I think you also see a monster."

I looked at myself again.

"I am trying to show you that you are not a monster."

I handed him the mirror.

"I…have ruined Grissom's l...life."

He walked back turning the light off then he came back over without the mirror.

"Did Grissom say that?"

"N...no, but l...look at what I d...did."

He made me lift my head looking at him.

"You could never ruin anyone's life."

I wanted to believe him, but deep down I knew I did. At break I walked over to Brass's office. He was standing by his desk looking at a paper. I opened the door seeing him look up.

"Hey." He said, putting down the paper on the desk. "What's up?"

"N…nothing."

"You're talking now." He said, hugging me. I closed my eyes enjoying it. "That is good news."

"Y…yeah."

He moved back still holding my arms.

"So how is work?"

"F…fine." I said

He moved his head to look at me.

"Just fine?"

I sighed looking down.

"I…I think I r...ruined Grissom's l...life."

He put his hands on my cheeks.

"Look at me." He said "You did not ruin his life."

I looked at him.

"You didn't. He talks to me and he has never said that."

"I...I know, but…"

"Sara, it's not true."

After seeing him I walked to Grissom's office. He was at his desk with his glasses on working. I closed the door behind me looking at him as he glanced over before writing something on a paper.

"On break?" He asked

"Y...yes." I said, walking around the desk leaning against it looking at him.

He sat back looking me over.

"I'll cook us dinner." He said

"G…great."

He took my hand pulling me to sit on his lap kissing me. He moved back searching my eyes.

"Want to talk about something?" He asked

I shook my head laying my head against his shoulder. He moved the chair side to side as he looked at me.

I closed my eyes touching his tie. We sat in silence holding each other. After shift I laid my head against the glass window of the car. Grissom drove us to the grocery store parking getting out while I stayed inside. I looked at the cars next to us then I looked at the lit windows of the grocery store.

Grissom came back smiling at me as he put the bag he carried in the back. I smiled back as he drove out of the lot. We went to bed after eating, but I could not sleep. I looked over at him then I got up. I dressed going out for a run to clear my head. I had no idea how long I ran for. I ran back drenched in sweat climbing the steps of the house feeling like I was carrying a bunch of logs on my back. I opened the door closing it sliding down to the floor.

"Sara?" Grissom called, as he walked out of the bedroom dressed for work. "Sara!"

I breathed in and out heavily sitting back against the door as he knelt down touching my head and cheeks.

"You're burning up!"

I closed my eyes feeling him lift me up taking me to the shower. I instantly jumped as cold water hit me. Grissom was talking to me as he leaned in without his coat and tie. He had rolled up his sleeves. I gulped in air looked around as I moved. The water kept coming and I wanted to get away from it. My shivering was getting worse. He turned off the water as I shook. A towel went over me and I was lifted out.

"Sara, why did you do this?" He asked, as he rubbed the towel over me.

"I…" I said, stopping as he wiped my face. He took what was left of my clothes then put dryer ones over my cold body. I was put into bed to sleep. Grissom left me to make calls. He came back after a while to give me some water. I moved feeling him lift me up giving me water. He put the glass on the side table cradling me against him.

"Sara, what is going on with you?"

I looked at him feeling sleepy again.

"I…ruined your l…life."

"You have never ruined anything." He said, smoothing my hair. "You saved me. I owe you so much. I will never love anyone else."

I slowly closed my eyes feeling his lips touch my head.

"I…love you." I said, gently.

He pulled me closer to his chest. I felt safe in his arms.


	2. Chapter 2

Grissom smiled at me as I walked towards him in the hallway. I may have been smiling back, but I was exhausted. He put his arm around my middle as he listened to Nick talk to him about a problem. I was only half listening enjoying Grissom's hand going up and down my back.

"I'll address that when you all are getting your assignments." Grissom said

Nick nodded happy. He waved at us before leaving. Grissom's hand dropped from my back as he moved facing me.

"Ready?"

I nodded letting him take my arm leading me outside. Once inside the car I climbed over him so I was straddling his legs. He was about to complain before I kissed him. He kissed me back without any fight. All I wanted was him.

He made me move back so he could breathe.

"What…are you doing?" He asked

"I…want to show my h…husband how much I a…appreciate him." I said, already working on his belt.

"Can it wait till we are home?"

"D…don't you want to be b..bad?"

"Not with our colleagues just outside." He said, looking outside.

I kissed him again then I went to the one place that would make him weaken. He moaned gently as I kissed behind his ear.

"Sara, stop!" He said, pushing me back. "Let's do this at home."

I sighed moving off him sitting on my side. He started the engine looking at me then he drove us home. He watched me go to the bedroom without a word. I went to change looking at the bed. Grissom came in seeing me climbing onto the bed laying down. I sighed lying on my stomach.

I felt him taking my shoes off then he moved my hair back kissing my neck. He left me alone going out of the room. I slept soundly after that. When I woke up the next day I had a headache. I moved off the bed seeing I still had my clothes on. I went to the bathroom coming out of the door when Grissom pulled me against him kissing me. I moved back searching his eyes.

"Hey." He said

I smiled faintly.

"I was thinking that we had some time before work."

I made him let me go.

"T…that ship has p..passed." I said

"I don't think so." He said, touching my arm.

I backed up watching him. His phone started to ring and he walked over to the night stand getting it. He looked at me as he answered. I walked past him, but he caught my hand pulling me to him. I smiled trying to move, but he put his arm around my waist. His lips found their way onto my neck as the person talked on the other end. I closed my eyes allowing him access. He moved back talking again then he hung up the phone.

"I think that ship just sailed in." He said

"W..we can't."

He kissed me pulling me to the bed.

We arrived at work an hour later smiling at each other as we separated. I sighed contented as I walked down the hallway to the locker room.

Grissom walked to his office seeing Brass standing at his door.

"Hello Gil." He said

Grissom looked at his friend.

"Come in." Grissom said

I went into Russell's office handing him the results from my case. He looked at the paper and then handed it back to me.

"Look's good."

I smiled at him taking it. His phone went off and he answered it looking at me then he looked at his desk.

"This is D.B."

I motioned him I was leaving. Not long after I got a text message to come to the break room. I walked in seeing all the CSI's just standing around talking. I joined them sitting in the back. Grissom, Catherine, and Russell came in seeing us.

"Listen up!" Grissom called "The governor called our office asking for our assistance in the crash and death of his nephew's car. This is our priority now. All other cases have been shut down until further notice. Everyone needs to suit up and meet at the cars outside in five minutes. This will be a long few days' people."

"Let's go!" Russell called

We all got up knowing what this meant. Grissom stood aside watching us go out. He pulled me aside as the others went out.

"Sara, I want you to call me in a few hours."

I nodded as he leaned over kissing my head. I walked out feeling his eyes on me.

It had begun to rain as we all drove to the sight just out of town in the hills. By the time, we got there it was pouring. Catherine and Russell were yelling orders. The place was littered with debris. We worked for hours collecting evidence. I forgot to call Grissom. Hours turned into more hours. I was exhausted and wet shaking as I took pictures of the turned over car. I moved to stand in front of it taking more pictures.

"Sara!" Someone screamed.

I didn't realize what was happening until I felt the car come on top of me as the tree holding it up fell.

Nick ran over kneeling down.

"Sara!"

I looked at him then I closed my eyes.

"Someone help!" He cried

Russell ran down with a group of workers trying to help him lift the car. They managed to lift it a little allowing someone to pull me out. Russell knelt down touching me all over.

"She doesn't have any broken bones." He said "Sara?"

He moved back my wet hair.

I was picked up and taken somewhere. Russell put a large warm blanket over my shaking body in the back of one of the cars. I moved my head as he moved my hair back.

"Mmm." I moaned

He jumped as Brass opened the door looking in scared.

"Is she all right?" He asked, as Russell got out.

"I think so." Russell said "Will you look after her while I go?"

"Of course." Brass said

Russell looked in at me then walked away. Brass got in shutting the door listening to the rain hit the car. He pulled the blanket closer to me before leaning over kissing my head.

"It's okay." He said

I moved shaking more as he rubbed my arm. He watched me stop moving then he sighed rubbing his chin while he looked at me.

A few hours later Russell got into check on me.

"Hey." He said, moving the blanket from my face. I moved not opening my eyes. He touched my head feeling heat. "Sara, you are very warm."

I opened my eyes blinking as I looked at him.

"W..where's dad?"

"I don't know." He said, touching my cheek. "We will go home soon."

I tried to get up only to be pulled down.

"I…have to work!"

"No, not right now." He said

"I….have to!" I said, trying again.

"Lay down." He said

I laid on my back moving my head.

"I…have to….I…have to." I said, before going back to sleep.

He pulled the blanket back up touching my head again. He got out shutting the door. I slept after that faintly aware of someone touching me and talking. Something cold went over my head and I opened my eyes seeing my dad leaning over me still in the car.

"How are you feeling?" He asked

"D..dad?"

"What?" He said

"M..my leg hurts." I said

He looked down at my blanket covered legs. He moved lifting the blanket up seeing blood staining the seat where I had a cut under a small tear on my pants.

He ripped my pants seeing it was a deep cut. I heard him mutter something as he got his phone out. I closed my eyes letting my head rest on the seat.

When I woke up next I was being carried up some stairs against someone. Another person opened the front door to the house letting us in. Grissom looked at me then he walked to the bedroom followed by Brass.

Grissom gently lowered me onto the bed looking at the bandage on my leg. I rolled over to my side stilling.

"Russell said her leg was not that bad. A few stitches." Brass said, as Grissom came out of the bedroom.

"You look all in."

Brass yawned rubbing his head.

"I didn't feel it till now. I was worried about Sara."

"I'll call you if she gets worse."

"Thanks." He said

Grissom let him go in seeing me sleeping. He watched the older man kiss my head whispering to me. I moved a little.

"D..dad?"

"Hey, you okay?" He asked, sitting on the bed.

"I…feel numb." I said, not opening my eyes.

"I have to go home, Honey." He said, touching my head.

I reached for him opening my eyes a little. He pulled me up hugging me.

"You need to eat more." He said "I can feel your ribs."

Grissom walked out leaving us. Brass rubbed my back as I put my head against his shoulder. He lowered me back on the bed.

"Sleep well."

I let him go moving to sleep again. He watched me a moment then walked out.

"Gil, take care of her."

"I will."

Brass nodded leaving. Grissom sighed going to the kitchen. Grissom undressed me then he fed me soup. I slept for days waking up to see Grissom leaning over me smiling as I opened my eyes.

"You've been sleeping a long time." He said, gently. "Brass was worried."

"W..what about you?"

He leaned down kissing my head.

"You know I was to." He said "I have to go in early. I want you to stay here and rest."

"I…can work." I said

"No, I want you to stay here."

"G…grissom."

He stood up straight looking at me.

"Sara, no."

I sat up watching him walk out of the room. He was at the door when I came out limping a little.

"Are you going to be good?" He asked

"I…I can work." I said

He walked over looking me over.

"Sara, who is your boss?"

"R…russell."

"Who is above him?"

I looked to the side sighing.

"Y…you're not my boss h..here."

"True, but if your hurt, or unwell then I can put you on suspension."

I glared at him as he watched me fume.

"Y…you can't do that!"

"Oh?"

I sighed looking down.

"F…fine."

He touched my arms searching my eyes.

"Sara, I just want you to rest. Take the day and relax. You can come back tomorrow."

I nodded looking to the side. He sighed looking at my profile. Sitting around I did nothing but watch TV. Grissom came back looking at me on the couch looking at him with circles under my eyes.

"Hungry?" He asked

I nodded as he looked at me. He walked over leaning down catching my lips. I wanted more, but he pulled away.

"Take out?"

"G…grilled cheese." I said

He smiled standing up walking away. I watched him go then I looked at the TV. He made me a sandwich bringing it out then he sat down eating his. He touched my leg when he finished looking at the bandage wrapped around it. I ate the last piece of my sandwich glancing at him.

"Sara, you can work tomorrow, but you have to take it easy."

I nodded before yawning. He watched me move lower on the couch and close my eyes. Minutes later I gasped as he picked me up taking me to our room to sleep. I woke up to my leg throbbing. After a shower, I popped two Tylenol and then got some coffee leaving with Grissom. I limped around the lab. Warrick walked in the room I was in looking in a microscope. He tapped me causing me to jump.

"Sorry, did you look at the fiber I sent you?" He asked, leaning on the table.

"Y….yeah, it was w…weird." I said

"I know, what did you think?"

I lifted the slide he had given me earlier looking at it then I looked at him.

"I…it looks like t…teeth marks."

"I thought so to." He said

I moved the slide I had in the microscope putting in the his.

"L…look at that corner." I said

He looked at it adjusting the lens.

"Blood."

"A v….very small speck. M….maybe we could get some DNA o…off it."

He stood up nodding.

"I'll give it to Hodges." Warrick said

I watched him leave before going back to work.

Brass met me in the hallway looking in the vending machine in the hallway. I looked at him then back at the snacks inside. He put his hand on my back moving it up and down slowly. I picked some pretzels then walked with him to the breakroom.

So how are you doing?" He asked

"G…good." I said

"You're lucky."

I nodded offering him a pretzel. He shook his head smiling at me.

"Gil, wants to come to my place and play cards tomorrow night."

"Oh?" I said, eating another pretzel.

"It's his day off."

"H…he never t..told me."

"He will." He said, before looking at his watch. "I have to go."

I nodded watching him move over kissing my cheek before leaving. I sat down on the couch rubbing my head. Grissom met me at the front desk putting his hand on my elbow. He waved at Catherine and Russell leaving then he led me to the car. We got in and he looked at me.

"What?"

"Y..your playing cards?"

"Oh, yes I forgot to tell you."

He watched me a moment.

"Honey, I was going to tell you."

"I...I know."

"What's wrong?" He asked, touching my hand.

"N…nothing."

He looked at me a moment then he started the engine. I yawned as I got out of the car. Grissom came around pushing me against the closed car door.

"Something is wrong."

I sighed touching his coat.

"I…" I said, stopping when I looked into his eyes. He looked at me concerned. I slowly moved forwards catching his lips with mine. He put his hands on my waist tilting his head as I put my arms around his neck.

He moved back opening his eyes watching me open mine.

"Sara." He said, gently.

I knew by his voice I had taken his breath away. He touched my cheek with his fingers and I closed my eyes.

"Talk to me."

I opened them looking back at him.

"G…grissom?"

"Hmm?"

"I…I want to go to bed." I said

"Me to."

I let him go and he found my hand leading me to the house. He woke the next day thinking about earlier. Our clothes were all over the place in the room. He looked over at me sleeping on my stomach with my hair hiding my face. He rolled over to his side gently touching my soft naked back then he moved closer kissing my skin.

I moved my head then stilled. He moved back my hair looking at me. When I didn't move, he sighed giving up. I faintly felt the bed move as he got off walking to the bathroom. Grissom came out of the bathroom wearing a towel looking over at me then getting his clothes. He made coffee walking over to the bed sitting down with a cup.

His hand went to my back.

"Sara?"

When I still didn't answer, he shook me. I moved smacking his hand away as I rolled over pulling the blanket higher.

"I take it you are cranky today?"

I stilled breathing in and out opening my eyes looking at him.

"I brought you some coffee." He said

I looked at it then back at him.

"What's wrong?" He asked

I closed my eyes as he touched my arm.

"Sara, you need to get up to work."

I slowly sat up taking the cup drinking the coffee winching as he sat watching me.

"Tell me what is wrong?"

I shook my head looking down at the coffee. I moved to get up, but he stopped me.

"Talk to me."

I handed him the cup moving. He sighed watching me walk to the bathroom shutting the door. I dressed and ate some toast then I went to the door watching Grissom walk over.

"Becareful." He said

I nodded moving to give him a kiss on the cheek then I went out. Grissom watched me move slowly down the stairs. He was concerned about me.

I went to work in the lab again helping the others with their cases. When I came home Brass was just leaving coming down the front steps.

"Hello." He said "How was shift?"

"O…okay." I said

He nodded looking me over. I looked down feeling his hand come to my cheek.

"Grissom told me something was wrong with you."

I looked at him a moment then I got closer hugging him. He hugged me feeling me tremble.

"Sara, what's wrong?"

"I…I don't know."

He moved back looking at me shake.

"Is it work?"

I shook my head.

"Grissom?"

I shook my head again.

"Me?"

"N…no."

"Then what is it?"

I didn't know what to say. I just wanted to hug him and feel safe. He pulled me against him again and I closed my eyes feeling protected.

"You better go inside, before Grissom calls the police." He said

I nodded moving away. He kissed my head then walked away. I looked at the lit house.

"Sara."

I looked back at Brass then I made my way up the steps to the front door opening it seeing Grissom coming out of the kitchen looking at me.

"Hey." He said, slowly walking over.

I walked over stopping infront of him.

"T…thank you." I said

"For what?"

"F..for being my h..husband."

He looked at me silently then he pulled me to him.

"Sara, I love you."

I closed my eyes laying my head against his shoulder. He picked me up taking me to the couch then he laid beside me holding me close to him.

When I woke, he was already dressed and talking on the phone. I sat up touching my messed hair. He came in hanging up his phone looking at me.

"Honey, I have to go into work early."

"O…okay." I said, pushing the blanket off my legs.

He helped me up kissing me then he walked to the front door jingling his keys.

"See you there."

I nodded watching him leave. I walked into the bedroom feeling as if I was going to cry. I sat on the bed holding my head doing just that. When I came to the lab everyone was out on a case. I sat in the breakroom stirring my coffee when Russell came in.

"Hey, haven't seen you in a while." He said, walking over sitting infront of me on the coffee table. "How are you feeling?"

"G…good." I said

He searched my eyes a moment.

"Do you feel up to getting out of here on a case?"

"Y..yes."

"Good, meet me at the front desk in ten minutes." He said, getting up leaving. I felt so happy inside that I jumped up limping to the trash can throwing my coffee away then walking out to get my things. I was waiting as he came over holding his case. We went out to the Tahoe and got inside. I smiled at him as he smiled at me before moving out of the parking space. We arrived at an abandoned looking house with cops every where.

I could see Brass walking down the steps of the house. He looked whiter than usual.

"What do we have?" Russell asked

"It's really bad. The worst scene I have ever been to."

I looked at him as he looked at me then at Russell.

"There is a body in every room. Everyone is worse than the next."

I swallowed looking past him at the house.

"We can call on the others to help out." Russell said

"I don't think they would make it through this."

Russell looked at me then at Brass.

"Let's take a look."

We moved to the house and I got a sick feeling before reaching the stairs. I stopped at the bottom looking up at the house. It was creepy and uninviting. Russell turned seeing me still standing there.

"Sara, you okay?"

Brass looked at me concerned as he stood next to Russell.

"Y…yes." I said, making my way to them.

We entered the house smelling blood. I shined my flashlight around as did Russell.

"You were not kidding." Russell said, as he walked carefully through the rooms. I walked into the room on the right seeing the outline of the body on the floor. A blood trail led me to believe he was pulled from another room. His intestines were hanging out and the blood made a large puddle around his body. I shook as I walked over. Russell walked in seeing me.

"Bad." He said

I stared at the man as if in a trance. Russell looked at the room then he looked at me.

"Sara?"

He touched my arm making me jump.

"Hey."

"I…I will get started."

He nodded watching me.

We worked for hours then we drove back to the lab. Both of us were silent trying to forget what we had just seen. I closed my eyes laying my head on the cool glass.

We returned tired and sickened. The evidence was taken in and the bodies were in the morgue. I went to the lady's room throwing up. When I came out I walked slowly down the hallway to Grissom's office. He wasn't there so I went back to work.

He appeared an hour later finding me sitting on the floor against the wall in the breakroom. He walked on seeing no one else was inside. He walked over kneeling down touching my hand.

"Sara, are you okay?"

I looked at him or through him.

"Sara?"

I moved my hands to my face covering it as he watched me. Russell came in seeing us.

"What's going on?" He asked

Grissom stood looking down at me then at him.

"I wish I knew."

Russell walked over kneeling down.

"Sara, everything is okay. You just need to think about something else."

"What's going on?" Grissom asked

Russell stood motioning him out into the hallway. I uncovered my face then I got up holding onto the wall. I came out seeing the two of them stop talking and look at me.

"S..stop!" I shouted

"It's okay." Russell said "I am getting someone else to help me."

"I…I can do this!"

"Sara, this is to much for you to handle." Grissom said

"N…no!" I shouted, before walking away.

"I will talk to her." Grissom said

I walked to Brass's office seeing him locking his door to leave. He saw me and walked over.

"I…I want to stay with y…you." I said

"What's wrong?" He asked

"P…please?"

He could see I was upset and nodded. I walked with him seeing Grissom waiting at the front door for me.

"Gil, I am taking Sara with me."

"Why?" Grissom asked, looking at me.

"She just asked me."

"Sara, I want to talk to you at home."

"N…no." I said

"We can talk here then."

I swallowed watching him as he motioned me to go back to his office. I grabbed Brass's arm making him understand I wanted him with us. He pushed me ahead of him as Grissom walked ahead of us. He allowed us inside first then he shut the door looking at me.

"Now, I think Russell is making a good decision in taking you off the case."

"Y…you would." I said, moving to sit in a chair infront of his desk.

Brass looked at Grissom.

"Sara, I am not choosing Russell over you because I like him better. I am agreeing with him because I am seeing what this case is doing to you."

"I…I can do it!"

Grissom flexed his jaw looking at me as I glared at him.

"C…can I go?"

"Home with me."

I stood looking at him.

"I…I am going with dad."

"No, you are coming home with me."

"N..no I am not!" I yelled, pushing past him going out. He rubbed his head sighing as Brass looked at him.

"Gil, let me take her home. I can talk to her."

"I can't have her running away from problems." Grissom said

"I understand, but sometimes it's better to go home with dad."

Grissom looked at him then nodded. Brass found me waiting outside mad. He got me into his car driving away. I never spoke the entire way. He parked getting out with me following. I went straight to his spare bedroom laying on the bed. He came in seeing him in the dim light. I felt him sit on the bed touching my arm gently.

"Honey, do you want to talk about this?"

"N…no." I said

He nodded still touching my arm.

"Gil loves you and Russell cares about you. They both can see you falter when these cases come up. You put to much of yourself into these cases. I saw what was inside that house to and it affected me as well. I see those people every time I close my eyes. You have empathy for the victims and because of that you are hit hard." He said "Gil is a little more protective of you because of what has happened in the past."

I rolled to my side not facing him.

"He loves you so much as I do." He said

I touched his hand on my arm. I closed my eyes as he moved my hair back.

"Just try to see this rationally."

I slowly moved sitting up hugging him. He hugged me back kissing my head. I went to sleep in his arms. He left me to go to his bed. I woke early still sleepy. I laid on my back looking at the window to my right. The window was open and a morning breeze was moving the curtain.

I closed my eyes again drifting when I saw the bodies in that house. I sat up breathing in and out fast. Brass was up looking tired drinking coffee in the kitchen as I came out.

"I…should go." I said

He looked at me putting down his cup.

"I can take you."

I nodded watching him get ready. He took my arm as we walked outside. I put my hand to my mouth feeling vile come up. He jumped back as I hunched over throwing up. I gagged again causing more liquid to come out. He touched my back as I breathed in and out fast trying to get up. He helped me to stand.

"I am taking you back to the house." He said

"N…no, I have to go home!"

He nodded feeling my body shake. He helped me to the car then he got in driving away. I closed my eyes feeling his hand touch mine.

"Almost there." He said

I moved my head opening my eyes looking at him. He parked outside of the house then he got out helping me out. Grissom looked over as he walked out into the living room seeing us come in.

"Gil, can you give me a hand?"

"Why, what's wrong?" He asked, walking over.

"Sara, is sick." Brass said

Grissom touched my head.

"I..I'm fine." I said

"You look sick." Grissom said

"I…I am going to work." I said

I made them both let me go as I walked past them to the bedroom.

"I am worried about her Gil." Brass said

"Me to."

I bathed and dressed ignoring Grissom as I walked out. He watched me go into the kitchen. I felt his presence as I got a bottled water out of the fridge. He leaned against the counter looking at me.

"So, you are going to work?"

I looked at him nodding.

"Do you want a ride?"

I nodded again drinking from the bottle. I closed the bottle then I walked past him only to be caught and pulled to stand infront of him.

His hands went to my cheeks so he could look me over. I closed my eyes enjoying his touch.

"Sara, I know your mad at me and I understand why."

I opened my eyes searching his.

"I don't feel as if we are on the same page anymore."

I looked down at his lips wanting to kiss him. He moved closer kissing me gently. I pulled him closer. He moved back only to be pulled back by me. I wanted to forget everything. He could feel the intensity radiating from me. He moved back again seeing the hunger in my eyes.

"Are you ready for work?" He asked

I nodded looking at his lips again.

"Sara, look at me."

I looked at him.

"Are we okay?"

"Y…yes."

He smiled touching my cheek. We arrived at the lab and walked to the front doors. I reached for his hand as he opened the door for me. He looked down at our hands curiously then at me. I looked at him a moment before going inside.

Russell took me off the case so I was on standby. I went to sit in Grissom's office as he did paperwork at his desk. He looked over seeing I was lost in thought playing with a pen.

He shook his head going back to work. I sighed getting my phone out looking at my text messages. I jumped as the phone started to ring. Grissom looked over at me as I answered it.

"G..grissom." I answered

I sat up slightly listening.

"I….I can." I said, standing.

I hung up looking over at Grissom.

"Going somewhere?" He asked

"I….I have to help Nick."

He nodded signing a paper. I went outside sighing as I shut the door. I went to the breakroom getting some coffee then I went outside walking around thinking. Russell got out of his car walking over seeing me.

"Nice night." He said

I looked at him nodding.

"So, what are you doing?"

"I..I am just thinking."

"About what?"

"J..just stuff."

"Do you want to talk about it? I have time."

I sighed looking down.

"I…I am depressed."

"Why?"

"I…I wish I was normal."

"You are normal."

"N..no I am not." I said "I…I can't talk normally."

"Sara, you are doing very well."

"I…I want to be like before."

He touched my arm.

"There is no reason you can't be. It just takes time."

"E…everyone treats me differently."

"I hadn't noticed a difference."

"I..I should have died."

"Don't say that."

I sniffed wiping tears off my cheeks. Russell looked back at some people walking past then he looked at me.

"Sara, you need to talk to Grissom about this."

"N..no." I said "P..please don't say anything."

"I won't." He said

I assured him I was okay and he walked to the building. I sat down on the curb looking up at the stars. Grissom walked to where Nick was in the lab room working.

"Nick, where is Sara?" He asked

"No idea."

"She said she was working with you."

"No." He said, looking at the older man.

Grissom looked at him then walked out in search of me. I rubbed my head coming back into the building seeing Grissom walking over.

"Didn't you say you were helping Nick?"

"Y..yes, I just needed to get something."

He looked at me.

"What?"

"I…I gave it to him already."

"He said he never called you." He said "Want to tell me the truth?"

I opened my mouth when Brass walked over.

"Gil, there has been an accident outside of town. We are going to need everyone on this."

Grissom looked at Brass then at me.

"Get your case."

I nodded running away. My leg ached as I moved, but not as much as it had in the past. Everyone got ready to leave. No one knew what was happening. I got into the Tahoe with Russell and some other CSI's driving out of town. I looked up seeing an orange glow a few miles away from fire. I heard Russell talking to the others as he kept eyes on the road. We stopped seeing the fire truck spraying water from a hose as firefighters held on. I got out looking at the blaze everywhere in what used to be trees. Catherine and Russell delegated each of us to a specific job once the fires died down. I took photos wiping sweat off my forehead. The air was hot and making it hard to breathe.

All we knew is that some very important people died on this plane crash. I went down to the biggest piece of debris that was one of the engines. I took a picture of it moving around. The heat was at its worst as I walked around. I found it hard to breathe as I stood in this one place. I gasped feeling light headed and I sank down to the ground winching at the hot ground. I lifted my hands seeing the redness as the fires still lit the area.

"Warrick, have you seen Sara?" Russell asked, as he walked around.

"No, not for at least ten minutes." Warrick said, as he held some bags of evidence.

"Okay?" Russell said, looking around. He walked around seeing Brass walking by talking on his radio. "Brass, have you seen Sara?"

"No, why?"

"I need her help."

"She has to be around here somewhere." Brass said, looking around.

He started to become concerned. Deep down he knew he was being silly, but when it came to me there was an automatic feeling of concern. He separated from Russell looking on his own.

He went down the path to where I was behind the chunk of engine. He stopped feeling the same heat as I had. At first, he saw nothing until he took a closer look seeing me lying on the ground.

"Sara?!" He called, running over to me. He touched my cheek feeling the heat. Quickly, he picked me up rushing up the path. "I need a medic!"

Russell turned from where he stood seeing Brass carrying me against him. He rushed over helping him. They put me on an awaiting stretcher and an oxygen was put over my face. Brass moved my hair back as the paramedics worked on me. I moved my head some opening my eyes a little. I looked at Brass and he sighed with relief as he continued to move my hair back. I closed my eyes again sleeping. I woke up in the ambulance still at the site.

I opened my eyes seeing Brass sitting next to me in the dimly lit ambulance.

"Hey." He said, gently.

He touched my hair as I closed my eyes opening them again slowly.

"You're getting much needed oxygen."

I breathed in and out still aware of the mask over my face. I reached over touching his hand. He looked down at our hands. I stared at him as he looked at me. I went back to sleep as he left to do something. I swallowed winching as my throat hurt. I faintly heard someone coming back into the ambulance. The oxygen mask was taken off my face and I moved my head feeling a hand touching my head and cheek.

I opened my eyes seeing Grissom. He looked at me concerned. He rubbed my hand. I blinked a few times seeing the face change into a man I didn't recognize.

"Can you tell me your name?" He asked

I slowly shook my head. He checked my eyes. The door opened as Brass climbed in again.

"How is she?"

"I think the oxygen helped." The man said

Brass touched my hand feeling me grip his. He watched the male paramedic beside him then he looked at me.

"I called her husband and he is on his way."

The man nodded.

"I'll be outside if you need anything." The paramedic said, before putting the oxygen mask back over my face.

Brass moved so he could get out then he scooted over closer to me. I lifted my hand up to try to get the mask off, but he stopped me.

"You're going to be okay." He said, gently.

I nodded looking at him. I held his hand as he touched my head.

"Grissom is coming."

I reached over touching his coat. He looked down at my hand then he came to sit on the stretcher. I felt him come down and hug me. I closed my eyes feeling safe. He kissed my cheek moving back to sit above me.

"You gave me a scare." He said

The doors came open making us jump. Grissom sighed looking at us. Brass moved as Grissom came in sitting down looking at me.

"They said she will be fine." Brass said

Grissom touched my cheek and smoothed back my hair as I looked at him.

"I'll leave you two." Brass said

I raised my head watching him go closing the doors. Grissom looked at me concerned.

"When Brass called me. I thought the worst." He said

He watched me close my eyes letting my head rest on the side. He sighed rubbing his chin as looked at me. He climbed out of the ambulance seeing Russell walking over.

"How is she?"

"She'll be fine. She's sleeping." Grissom said, looking around "This is a large scene."

"It was much worse as we got here."

Grissom nodded looking at the wreckage.

The paramedic cleared me to go home. Grissom helped me down out of the ambulance. He watched me look around then I faced him.

"I am taking you home."

"I..I need to help."

"No, not now."

"G..Grissom, I am still on the clock."

"You almost died."

"I..I am working." I said, glaring at him before walking off.

Grissom rubbed his head watching me go.

"Stubborn, isn't she?" Brass said, walking over.

"She reminds me of someone." Grissom said, looking over at his friend.

"What does Hodges have to do with this?"

Grissom chuckled watching the activity.

"Gil, take her home. Russell wants her to rest."

"I will do my best."

I walked over to help some workers when Grissom came over taking my arm pulling me with him.

"G..grissom!" I screamed, as he continued to pull me. My throat hurt making it hard to verbally attack him. He took me along the vehicles till we got to his car. He opened the passenger side door looking at me.

"Get in."

I shook my head watching him closely.

"Get in, or I make you get in."

I swallowed backing up still aware that his hand was still hold me. He closed the door coming closer to me.

"Listen to me, you will go home and rest. Any arguing and I will suspend you."

I searched his eyes seeing he was deadly serious.

"I don't have time to play. You will get in the car."

"I….."

"Sara." He said

I knew I had lost. He moved letting me past to open the car door and get in. He got in beside me starting the engine driving us home. He got out of the car walking to the steps looking back as I stayed in the car. He opened the door looking in at me.

"Coming?"

I shook my head. My hand went to my mouth as I started to cry. He just stood there watching me. I was aware of him kneeling down touching my leg.

"I don't know what to do." He said "You have closed the door on me."

I kept crying as he sighed.

"Tell me what to do."

I lifted my head looking straight ahead. Grissom looked at my profile. I looked at him with sad eyes reaching over hugging him. He hugged me back kissing my head. I felt him pull me out of the car so we stood.

"I love you so much." He said "I will never hurt you."

I moved back looking at his coat.

"I…I am the problem." I said, trying not to cry again.

"What do you mean?"

I put my head on his shoulder.

"G..grissom?"

"Hmm?"

I closed my eyes feeling tears still coming.

"I…I love you to."

He knew something was wrong, but I shut down. He held me against him thinking.


End file.
